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Breakup
The Philosophy of a Breakup
·
Maybe it's not
a Madness
· How
to Kill a Relationship
·
Maintaining Your Dignity
·
Things to
Help You Wallow
·
Breakups
are for Everyone
·
Breaking
up with Style
· Break Up? Here's to YOU!
·
Commitment-Phobe-Hee-Haw
·
The 8 Stages of Relationships
·
More...
The Lighter Side of Breaking Up
·
Your Breakup Look
· Proverbs
for the Fridge
· The
Breakup Bumper Sticker
· "Hello,
John...?"
·
Instant
Messenger Break Up
·
More...
The Healing Side of a Breakup
·
Singlehood is GOOD!
·
Does
My Ex Miss
Me?
·
How
to Meet Men
·
Meeting Someone New (or
Old)
· Dating Tips
for the Tipless
·
Communication...
what?
· Flirting
is an Art ;)
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Are You Addicted to a Commitment Phobic
Man? |
Ways to
Break Up With Your Girlfriend
By Tigress Luv,
The Breakup Guru
The first thing to know,
before you learn the ways to break up with your girlfriend, is the preparation
of the moment. You do not want to do anything spur of the moment and without
thinking it out thoroughly first. So there are also questions to ask before
ending a relationship! Like, am I sure I want to do this?
1) Always be prepared for a scene! Do
not break up with her in a public place. Find a place that is quiet and where
you two can be alone. Of all the ways to end relationships, breaking up in
a restaurant or club is the least tactful way imaginable. Your
soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend may cry uncontrollably, beg you to change your mind,
or even make a scene by yelling at you, calling you names, or throwing a
dish of linguine in your lap then following it with a glass of red wine over
your head.
2) Stay sober! If you want to truly find
the best ways to break up with your girlfriend, being drunk at the time is
not one of them. You must remain level-headed and of sound mind and
body.
3) Be respectful! Treat her with dignity.
You are the one inflicting the pain here, so make sure that you do it in
the least hurtful way that you possibly can. If you need to let yourself
be the 'bad one', just to save her ego, by all means do it. I'm sure you
weren't perfect, anyway, right? When searching for ways to break up with
your girlfriend you have to understand that rejection hurts, and that by
ending the relationship you are rejecting her as a woman. How
much damage do you think that will do to her ego and self-esteem? Quite a
lot, so try to soften the blow and treat her with respect and
dignity.
4) Make sure you are SURE you want to
end the relationship! Don't burn your bridges and then decide you want to
do a u-turn and go back. There are many ways to break up with your girlfriend
but sometimes, there aren't any ways to get her back after you ripped her
world apart. Most of the time, once a relationship is over, it is
over. Are there any
questions to ask yourself before ending the relationship with her? Yes, this
is a big - and permanent step - so make sure you have resolved to the fact
that the relationship is over.
5) Don't leave any loose ends. Before
you even attempt to end the relationship make sure that you have all your
belongings back, and that she does, too. You do not want to leave the possibility
of any reason for contact open.
6) Watch your timing! You do not want
to destroy someone who is going through a difficult time in their own life,
such as dealing with a family member's illness, cramming for a final exam,
etc. Or break someone's heart when it is about time for them to celebrate
their birthday, or it is just a few days away from Valentine's Day or Christmas.
Don't be a jerk about your timing. It can wait a few more days or weeks,
can't it?
7) State clearly that you are breaking
up with her. Don't hem and haw, don't beat around the bush, and don't hope
that if you just 'taper' off from contact with her that the relationship
will dissolve on its own. As a matter of fact, the less you are in her life,
the more she feels attached to you by longing for you during your absence.
That's one trick people use to get their ex to come back to them!
This one is the least likely to be successful of all the ways to end
relationships. Hoping you two can just drift apart will most likely
backfire on you.
8) Don't point fingers. The relationship
isn't working. You both suck. Period. One of the worse ways to break up with
your girlfriend is to make a list to the woman you are breaking up with of
all her faults, flaws, or where she went wrong. This gives her the impression
that the relationship can be saved if she can just work on fixing
those things about her that you don't like. There is no closure to be had
on her part when she holds hope that she can get back together with you if
she can only do 'this' differently or change 'that' about
herself.
9) Stop all contact. There is no need
for late night booty calls. There is no need to hug her and kiss her passionately
good-bye. Just end the relationship and then stay out of her life.
If you choose to remain friends, that's fine, but only do so after the feelings
of grief or jealousy are over. Wait this period out before you come in contact
with each other again. Don't make a point of being anywhere where you know
she may be, unless you can't avoid it, such as work or school. But you don't
have to go to the same clubs, or parties, or restaurants as the woman you
just broke up with. That is just in bad taste. Let her have time to mend
- without you in the picture.
10) If she contacts you, do not respond.
Each time you respond you will only be encouraging her and that will result
in prolonging her heartache, and delaying her breakup recovery time. Be firm,
be direct.
11) And lastly, be prepared to doubt
your decision to break up. Especially if she seems to take the breakup fairly
casually, doesn't bother to try to talk you out of it, or never attempts
to contact you or see you again. This is her way of turning the rejection
back onto you; and it is by the very fact of being rejected by someone do
we lose our ego. This loss of ego makes us feel like we want her back in
our good graces, so we can again feel good about ourselves. That is why the
best selling books are ones on 'how to win an ex back'...because people cannot
stand rejection, and it is even especially harder if the person who is rejecting
you is someone you look up to, admire, love and respect. Remember those questions
to ask before ending a relationship with your girlfriend, before you follow
these ways to break up with your girlfriend? I hope you asked yourself them!
Can this relationship be saved before I breakup? Is there hope to salvage
the damage of past wrongs? Is there outside sources that we might get help
as a couple from? Can she change? Can I?
For more help please visit
'How to get Over a Break
Up', 'How
to Break Free From Their Spell' or
'How to Win an Ex
Back and Get Back
Together'.
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