The Man Sucks - An Abuse Victim's Vent
Sucks - One Woman's Vent to an Abusive Ex
I don't care who
sees this page, and I don't care what they think of me. You have told them
so many twisted lies about me that it really doesn't matter anymore. People
who can't see the truth aren't those I want to associate with anyway. You
know a very sagacious and wise man nicknamed 'Swami' once said "Let's
not burn our bridges" ... he was talking about you making the decision
to walk out on your boss, Joe (whom you cut down to the absolute lowest -
like you did everyone else in this town [let's be honest for once]!). Well,
he was right and you didn't walk out on Boss Joe (praise be for Swami!) ...
but this time you burned a bridge big time, and your 'sage' wasn't there
to give you the ability to think. You can never undo what you have done to
me, so let this page be a reminder to you that when you set out to destroy
good people to save your own face, sometimes your lies will be called upon. Consider this your calling card.
All I wanted was an apology and
an acknowledgement from you to what you have done to me. You have 'delusioned'
yourself into believing things that are all made up in your head. I am a
good person. I always treated you well. I am not a predator who 'devours'
as you scream. You need to recognize the mean and cruel and totally made
up lies and insults you have 'bestowed' upon me - and about me. I have never
for one second deserved the horrible abuse you dished out. Not one of your
beliefs is factual. You were loved, cherished, adored, and spoiled. You gave
nothing back but insults and hateful words; a never-ending onslaught of abusive
actions spewing from you. Your reality is twisted. You have never, ever sat
in the 'light of truth' except in your own mind. Your whole world is a lie.
Just like you did with your exwives,
you invent things in your head about me. You try to hate everything about
me, even if you have to twist the reality of me to fit into your demented,
distorted, maniacal way of thinking. Yes, you did it with your last wife,
too. You constantly told me how much you hated her friends, her lifestyle,
her dreams, her birthday presents from her friends (!? - you make all your
mates your 'rival' and then get jealous if they get more attention than you
- even if it is on their birthday), her hopes, her accomplishments, her assets,
her jewelry, her car, her perfume. Her. You cut that poor woman down
non-stop. Then you cheated on her! In a bar parking lot, backseat. How classy.
How many times? My heart goes out to her. Were you abusive to her, too, for
all those years, like you were to me? You FORCE yourself to hate people that
you love, because you are scared of love. You are too afraid to love someone
because you can't bear the thought of sharing your lime-light, or risking
rejection ... so you make yourself hate them. That way they are always the
'bad' one, and never you.
In your drunken rants you have
pulled guns on me and my children and you have also threatened repeatedly
to kill them. "I have a gun, I will kill them..." I, in return, did
your artwork, paid for your studio time, rented you limos, paid for your
insurance, your newspaper ads, your satellite radio (still do) & TV,
your bills, your food, your home, your trips, your utilities, your recording
equipment, your computer, your wedding ring, your life. I stood by you through
thick and thin. I patiently listened to your crocodile tears, and pretended
right along with you in public that they were real. I put up with your faked
impotence. I tolerated you keeping me constantly starving for kindness and
affection. I took your daily insults and bitter, insane anger at the 'world'.
Your constant scolding and screaming at me both in public (which you did
for the benefit of thinking you were making 'me' look bad) and in private.
Your weeks and weeks of silent treatment. Your segregation. Your writing
'psycho-bitch' on my car. You hitting me. Your temper tantrums, your tearing
up the yard. Your insanely kicking down the real estate sign and yelling
at me to never list with 'that goatrider' again. Your fake phone calls to
your friends late at night - you know the phone calls that were meant to
scare and intimidate me? "Hello...it's me. Remember what we talked about?
Remember the plan? Well, it's time. Get everybody together and get over here
now..." you know ... the calls that made me leave my own house out of
fear for my life. You yelling in a parking lot to people that I f*d my son,
or that I robbed you of your identity (which you still tell to anybody who
will listen). You telling me (OVER AND OVER AGAIN) that everybody hates me
and has to get up and leave the room when I walk in. You getting off the
gig at 9 p.m. and coming home at four in the morning and then screaming at
me for years to come because the door was locked. Yes, let the truth be known.
This was my reality.
You complain that I am driving a new car and you are driving an old van.
Here's the 'reality'. I am driving a car (the only one I own - not
a 'fleet' of brand-new cars as you tell your 'friends'!) that is seven years
old and which "I", and not "YOU" paid $900 dollars a month on for six years.
The car has over 120,000 miles on it (most of which you put on it) and the
transmission is out on it. Can't you 'see' reality anymore? You never, ever
gave a penny to this house, the bills, the food, the vehicles you drove every
day, or me. ONE time you bought bathroom tissue, ya, you bought toilet paper,
and you kept it LOCKED UP in the back of your van so nobody else could use
Your ego is so big that you would rather be on stage in front of your 'fans'
than by your wife's side during the birth - OR BURIAL - of your child! And
God bless the poor woman in a relationship with you that wants to see
you during your break and interfere with your ego-feeding frenzy of flirting
time with your 'fans'! Speaking of fans, for every one person that goes into
'YOUR' club to see you, there are five hundred that don't (boy do I hear
that all the time!). If you were to stop 'playing' there the place would
Here's the point of this whole page:
You asked me to remove my webpage. I said "is there anything else you
want to say?" I was thinking that maybe, just once, on an off-chance
- it wouldn't be about YOU. You reply (after eight years of me standing by
YOU and supporting YOU and YOUR dreams - and putting up with YOUR
insanity! [yes, I did]), "yes, I want no further contact with you"
well, guess what!?
contact with you i have NOT had (you
hearing things again?)
the sound of your voice
fills me with repugnance
your sick words cut to the core
they echo in my mind
and will forever do so
i can't stand to hear your name
it sickens me beyond belief
i can't stand to see your face
your insane outbursts still haunt me
in my sleep
you have stolen so much from me
chewed me up and spit me out
why on earth would i want to 'contact'
you are nothing but a
is absolutely NOTHING about you that is real and truth
get over yourself - stop romanticizing
yourself, everyone else has
you make me
it's always all about you, isn't
you may be
good at your game, but you don't have as many people fooled as you think
I could name 'names' of every one of the people in your life that you have
cut down (to me). Greg, Dana, Charles, Sandy and her husband (and his brother),
Joe, Tina, Bob, Tommy, John, Jeanie, Betty, T, Randy, Rosemary, Steve, the
Thursday night bikers (and, especially, their kids) at the place where you
gig... everyONE ... I got all the goods on you! - but why bother? You will
fool them into thinking I am the nut. They would not believe me, and I personally
could care less. Guess what? Maybe me writing this for all to see after keeping
all this bottled up inside me for years does make me look nuts. But, who
cares? I don't. So screw you!
"I have many good friends that have gotten me through this heart ATTACK." (If only they knew what you say about them behind their back!) But
what I want to know is 'what' heart attack? There was NO heart 'attack'!
Just another way of you needing attention to keep the narcissist in you supplied. "Her kids are nuts and I fear for my life" ... What the f? My kids
PITIED you and convinced me to stay with you because they (erroneously) loved
you! How dare you make up such lies!
You sit over there in your litter-cluttered Ivory Tower (like father like
son; isn't that right N Jr?) on your self-imposed pity-pot and blame me for
everything that is wrong in the world. It must be nice to be so completely
innocent of ANY WRONG-DOING, huh? In the meantime, I am left here alone to
face and deal with the reality of life. The bills. The dogs. The house. Your
chewed-up, spit-out leftover crap. You have dumped 'real life' on me, and
then locked yourself up in self-righteous indignation. Poor you, you have
an old car. Poor you, you have to pay insurance for the first time ever as
of this month. Poor you. Poor you, you had to actually pay a BILL - your
first ever! Poor you. And all your poor you problems are all my fault, aren't
they? Surely, blaming me because your van is old is justifiable. Poor poor
you. It's all just sooooooo unjust isn't it? Isn't it, you self-absorbed,
|NOTE (excerpt taken with permission
to use and 'alter' from the Lifted Hearts
Community): Like all abusers you have a way of twisting things around,
and turning issues around, so much so that the women in your life start to
feel like they really are going crazy. One of the ways people like you do
this is called 'projection'. For all those future Mrs. Bar hopefuls that
may be reading this (I'm sure your hungry ego is working on fake charming
a few), I will tell them that 'projection' is a process where the abuser
takes all his own issues, faults, or flaws, and projects them onto you. It
is strange how well he can do this. If you are smart enough you will see
that what he says about you (in the future - right now he's still showing
you the fake charm) is more likely what he, himself, is guilty of.
The problem is so many of us that are
abused eventually begin to believe that we are horrible or crazy.
I know I did for a while. This is what happens to victims of emotional, verbal,
psychological, or mental abuse. We start to feel depressed, inferior, etc.
You don't see it happening...it sneaks up on you so slowly that you don't
even hear it coming. We walk away from the confrontation - or the relationship
- feeling ugly; shameful; needy; insecure; incapable; clumsy; inadequate;
can't measure up; unlovable and unloved; nagging; jealous; brow-beating;
over-controlling; fat/skinny; butchy; bitchy; insulting; uncaring;
stupid; unpopular; and more. I know I walked away from this OFWM feeling
this way. It's been a year and I am just now starting to be able to laugh
Believe me, the words that were said
to me by this OFWM more readily applied to him. Controlling. Angry. Bitter.
Manic-depressive. Self-centered. Self-pitying. Self-absorbed. Demanding.
Never happy. Mistrusting. Unloyal. Dramatic. Out of control. Insecure. Uncaring.
You know, I simply had a webpage about abuse (by the way this
is now my new webpage thanks to your self-focused, one-way distorted thought
process). If you found parallels between yourself and an abuser, so be it
(just to prove a point, if you didn't notice it in your speciosity that webpage
was written by ALBERT J. BERNSTEIN, Ph.D and credit was given to such at
the bottom. I did not write that page!).. But to be so abusive about it,
and so ME, ME, ME about it - well! People really need to know what a phony
you are. Even to your own family. You are one sick man. I thought about what
I would say here. After the silent abuse I took from you for years to protect
your fake public identity. The abuse so deep that I had a suicide letter
written to each of my children. Abuse so deep that I ended up in the hospital
and abuse so deep that I got shingles. But you never saw the result of what
you did - you were too busy making up lies about me and my children to protect
yourself from being at fault, and too busy absorbed in your martyrdom. Too
busy with protecting your self-image to see that you, yourself, can't even
see the truth anymore. But when I finally mustered up the nerve to leave
you - to leave MY OWN HOUSE and CHILDREN just to get away from the hell of
you - I still thought I had to protect you, and for some BLIND, unknown reason
you still had my devotion, too (can you say Stockholm Syndrome?).
Yes, I could have sat here and wrote of the damage you have done to me, or
to other's in your life, because of your lack of soul. But you wouldn't have
heard those words because they would haven't been about YOU - but rather
about ME or THEM - and you only do 'YOU'. You are too into 'self' to see
anything outside of 'you'.
in hand, the eve of my friend Neet's memorial service when everybody went
next store to the club after the service, you later shallowly told me "What
a horrible gig to get through, playing to all those gloomy people. I don't
know why those people had to go there and ruin my night." ) So, hey, I'm just telling it like it is
about YOU. I know you will listen to these words because I'm writing about
'YOU'...and I'm sure you will listen to it with the narcissistic reaction
of "what will people think about me should they read this" and not with the
human factor of "wow, did I really do that to her - almost drive her to
suicide?" You created a world of hell and devastation, but that doesn't
matter to you because some nameless person wants to hear a song that you
now have to learn because you are all about impression to strangers and
acceptance by people that aren't really that important in reality...or maybe
the hell and devastation doesn't matter to you because your van needs oil.
All I know is you have no soul, just a fake phony image. You spread vicious,
cruel lies about me and my children to protect your fabricated persona.
Your whole world is a lie and your whole life from thirteen up has been a
sham. Take away your 'phony' charm and your guitar (which, by the way, the
older you get (black balloons) the more ridiculous your exaggerated overplaying
looks - stomach turning) and you don't even have
It's about time I stood up for
myself and stopped taking your insane crap! I tried to understand you for
so long...I thought maybe 'early Alzheimer's' or even thought that maybe
lack of oxygen to your brain during surgery or from clogged arteries caused
you to go even more haywire than you already were...but hey, there is NO
making sense of the senseless. Why don't you go back to where you spawned
from you paranoid schizophrenic?
Since I know you so well I'm sure right about now you are devising all kinds
of evil ways to get back at me for this ranging from murder to car theft
- revenge is your forte. Didn't you use to always threaten to get your 'biker'
friends to beat my children and I up? But, I got SHIT on you, lots and
lots of CRAP on you. Remember that, you self-focused, oblivious
Nothing about you is healthy or
normal. Rot in hell, you hostile OFWM (old, fat, washed-up
this page will remain until you
acknowledge a healthy reality. In other words...
this page will remain until the
hell you put me through freezes over
Free From Their Spell! - and stop that magical hold they
have over you...
Article brought to you by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru