Dignity After a Break Up
"Please, please please please please
take me back!"
The absolute most haunting pain of a
break up is the feeling of being unlovable, unworthy and rejectable. You
lose so much pride that it's hard to think of anyway to gain it back without
gaining their heart and love back and being worthy of being in a relationship
You'd do just about anything to restore
And all you end up doing is losing more
pride by acting in desperate ways. You plead, you beg, you stalk, you cry,
and you dream incessantly about getting back in their good and 'lovable'
Pride causes us to try to convince our
partners that they are 'wrong', and that our way is 'right'. We try threatening,
pouting, coercing, reasoning, begging, pleading, demanding, being sad, being
angry - any way we can to get them to see our way. But rarely do we stop
and see things their way. Our pride gets in the way of letting us do
I recently received an email from a past Lifted Hearts member.
Here is a part of that email:
"....But if it weren't for me remembering
the name "Lifted Hearts" (which DID save my life at one horribly dismal point;
thank GOD for Tiggy!), then I never would have found you. It's BEEN YEARS!
... The irony of all of this is that I came to Lifted Hearts with a BROKEN
heart; over the selfsame person who is in the other room and whom I can no
longer tolerate! His negativity begins to wear on me and pulls me
down........amazing that it was MY EGO THAT WAS PISSED OFF ABOUT GETTING
DUMPED, not my HEART!!!!!!!!!!!! Live and learn, but don't paint yourself
in a corner where not only am I 'truly' stuck, but that I've got the prospect
of going through the whole 'you go your way I go mine' (break up) ahead of
me; I cannot, will not, live with this person who is honestly SO NICE, but
such an asshole when it comes to relationships and dealing with
It's amazing how many people in a break
up believe it is the loss of their mate that causes them the grief, when
in reality it is the loss of their ego and pride that was somehow destroyed
by the rejection and that is now causing them desperate feelings of need
for their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
Once you realize this, you can take steps
to understand how this loss of pride and ego has caused you grief, and how
the more you try to get your ex back the more you lose your dignity, pride,
Article by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru