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Maintaining Your Dignity After a Break Up

"Please, please please please please take me back!"

The absolute most haunting pain of a break up is the feeling of being unlovable, unworthy and rejectable. You lose so much pride that it's hard to think of anyway to gain it back without gaining their heart and love back and being worthy of being in a relationship with 'them'.

You'd do just about anything to restore your pride.

And all you end up doing is losing more pride by acting in desperate ways. You plead, you beg, you stalk, you cry, and you dream incessantly about getting back in their good and 'lovable' graces.

Pride causes us to try to convince our partners that they are 'wrong', and that our way is 'right'. We try threatening, pouting, coercing, reasoning, begging, pleading, demanding, being sad, being angry - any way we can to get them to see our way. But rarely do we stop and see things their way. Our pride gets in the way of letting us do that.

I recently received an email from a past Lifted Hearts member. Here is a part of that email: "....But if it weren't for me remembering the name "Lifted Hearts" (which DID save my life at one horribly dismal point; thank GOD for Tiggy!), then I never would have found you. It's BEEN YEARS! ... The irony of all of this is that I came to Lifted Hearts with a BROKEN heart; over the selfsame person who is in the other room and whom I can no longer tolerate! His negativity begins to wear on me and pulls me down........amazing that it was MY EGO THAT WAS PISSED OFF ABOUT GETTING DUMPED, not my HEART!!!!!!!!!!!! Live and learn, but don't paint yourself in a corner where not only am I 'truly' stuck, but that I've got the prospect of going through the whole 'you go your way I go mine' (break up) ahead of me; I cannot, will not, live with this person who is honestly SO NICE, but such an asshole when it comes to relationships and dealing with me."

It's amazing how many people in a break up believe it is the loss of their mate that causes them the grief, when in reality it is the loss of their ego and pride that was somehow destroyed by the rejection and that is now causing them desperate feelings of need for their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

Once you realize this, you can take steps to understand how this loss of pride and ego has caused you grief, and how the more you try to get your ex back the more you lose your dignity, pride, and ego.

Article by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru

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