| How to Kill
a Relationship - AKA "The LC Method of Romance"
Unforgiveness: Never, ever forgive
your partner for any wrongs. Forgiveness means that they might do it again.
Make sure to constantly remind them of their mistake over and over
again. You should also exaggerate their wrongs and tell everyone you
know. If they make no mistakes, just invent some. I'm sure if you
look long and hard you can surely twist something they do around to
make it look wrong.
Infidelity: Yes, that other person
is hot. Go after them; after all, your partner will never know and what they
don't know can't hurt them, right? And it's great for your ego,
too.
Be Over Possessive: In fact, go
ahead and lift your leg on your partner to mark your territory; this is
completely acceptable. Your partner is your property and never let
them forget this.
Never Spend Time With Them: Work
three jobs, volunteer all remaining time to any local charity, golf course,
obsessive hobby, your buddies at the local bar, or helping strangers
move.
Don't Take Things Slowly: They
might get away. Go after them fast and furious. Propose on the second date
(but never go through with it, of course).
Don't Show Any Affection or That You
Care: If you do, then they will expect this all the time. It will also
make you look weak.
Be Abusive: Show them who the boss
is. Helps to make them want to stay with you. Be a constant control freak.
Watch their every move and always control their independence. Be powerful
and dominating and always devise ways to lessen, control, or curtail their
rights and freedoms, and make them feel grateful for being with you. No matter
how cruel or savage you have to get, you will hold the power and be the master
in the end.
Insult Their Family: Their family
sucks, after all, so why not tell this to them all the time.
Be needy, clingy, emotional, insecure,
caging them in and wanting to be with them 24/7: Oh, it's simply
so frustrating to be with someone who has a life outside of
you!
Be Ambiguous: Never either get
in the relationship completely or get out completely; there really is such
a thing as a partial commitment. Relationships can succeed with
ambiguity.
Use Blaming, Shaming, Interrogation,
Intimidation and Threats: I mean, how else are you supposed to
control them? This way you can be a partner that doesn't have to take
personal responsibility and are often unable to control your emotions or
behaviors but still get away with it.
Tell Them Repeatedly That Everything
is Their Fault: Why should you be blamed for their inability to
withstand constant criticism and your undying unfaithfulness.
Believe in ESP: This way they should
just know how you feel, what you want, and hear your unspoken
concerns.
Don't Ever Change Your Bad Behavior:
Otherwise, your relationship may begin to feel balanced and your partner
will not be able to have feelings of contempt. The only thing equal in your
relationship should be that you both agree equally that you are the boss
and hold all the power. Close yourself to the possibility of
growth.
Always Display a Sense of Entitlement:
After all, you are their be-all.
Show Lots of Judgment: This makes
them want to change for the better.
Lie: They don't have to know everything
about you.
Put the Moves on Their Best Friend:
It does take at least three to get a good party going.
Arm Yourself With an Emotional Weaponry:
Remember that all relationships are 'war' and, therefore,
our partners are the 'evil enemy'. Never be on their side -
or they might WIN, and since all relationships are of a 'win-lose' nature
that means that you would LOSE - LOSE yourself, that is. Your superior,
elitist attitude and blatant despisement for your inferior partner would
be the best choice for a weapon of mass destruction, effectively destroying
the entire relationship.
Always Point the Finger: The fault
is always in the other. Never you. Be rigid; remain set in your
beliefs.
Take Your Partner for Granted: It
is their job to always be there for you.
Make Them Appreciate You: Demand
that you never be taken for granted. It's not your job to always be there
for them.
You've Already Made Your Good Impression:
You don’t have to impress them anymore. Lay off the charm and respect.
Let your good hygiene go. Stop complimenting them, or being polite. Save
your good impression for total strangers. And remember, love means never
having to say you're sorry.
Make Sex a Chore: Same time, same
day, same way. This way there are no surprises. Better yet, simply remove
sex from your life all together. Who needs to have to actually move if you
don't really have to.
Put Up a Protective Wall: They
don't need connection. If they can't sit in a silent and lonely rage them
tell them to talk to their friends, family, coworkers, or clergyman. It's
not your job to give their life meaning.
Never Do Anything as a Couple: Once
you do, you will hear about it all the time! They may even expect you to
do it again.
Always Go to Bed Mad: Never really
resolve any of your conflicts. This way they can keep nagging and rehashing
the same thing over and over again ... this will validate and confirm your
belief that they really are nuts.
Their Minor Slip-Ups Should Be Punished:
Use lots of silent treatment, contemptuous looks, and lots of self-denial.
Remember it is their job to always agree with you and to always see things
your way. It is not your job to forgive them or to see their point of
view.
Never Show Your Real Self: Your
thoughts and feelings should remain private. Never let down your guard or
open your heart. Always wear a poker face.
Always Be on the Defense: After
all, if you are always right then you shouldn’t ever be questioned about
anything you may say or do.
Routine is Grounding: Never shake
it up or differ from the ordinary day-to-day. Never try anything new. Never
surprise each other.
Let Your Looks Go: Now that you
bagged them you shouldn't have to show them how good you look anymore. They
already know how good you can look, right? Why do you have to remind
them constantly? Never dress up for them, and quit grooming yourself so much.
You can relax now that you have them, so go ahead and let yourself go in
terms of your weight, your physique, your figure, your hair, etc. Once again,
this doesn't apply to total strangers.
Always Remain Stoic: Never laugh
out loud or joke around with each other. Try not to show any humor. A
relationship is a serious thing and there should be no room in it for such
frivolity.
Love is for Sissys: All good feelings
must be explained away first, or denied if an explanation can't be found.
Remember, love is the enemy.
Always Be Critical and Condescending:
This makes you look good and shows your partner that you are better than
him/her in most things. Always point out their mistakes no matter how trivial
they are. Do not support them in any of their aspirations or
accomplishments.
Make Up Mean Stuff About Them and Then
Cut Them Down to Mutual Friends: This makes you come out looking good,
and like the poor mistreated victim. Which you are.
Be Disinterested: Otherwise it
won't all be about you! Negligence is the key. In fact, why
not...
....Be Emotionally Absent: That's
right, abdicate! Even if you don't leave your relationship in a physical
sense you can still “move on” in a mental-emotional-spiritual sense.
I mean, they still have your presence there, right? What more could they
want!?
Do these things above and you should have
your partner scrambling out of the relationship in no time
flat.
Written by: Anyone of the exes. The
story is the same for all of them.
For further insight into
your ex's mind please read this article on
how to get your ex back
or this article on how to
get over a breakup. If you need
help with handling the rejection
or abandonment please join our
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