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How to Break Up

How to Break Up
By Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru

How to Break Up

how to break up The first thing to know, before you learn how to break up, is the preparation of the moment. You do not want to do anything spur of the moment and without thinking it out thoroughly first. So there are also questions to ask before ending a relationship! Like, am I sure I want to do this?

1) Always be prepared for a scene! Do not break up with your soon-to-be-ex in a public place. Find a place that is quiet and where you two can be alone. Of all the ways to end relationships, breaking up in a restaurant or club is the least tactful way imaginable. Your soon-to-be-ex may cry uncontrollably, beg you to change your mind, or even make a scene by yelling at you, calling you names, or throwing a dish of linguine in your lap then following it with a glass of red wine over your head.

2) Stay sober! If you want to truly find out the right way on how to break up, being drunk at the time is not one of them. You must remain level-headed and of sound mind and body.

3) Be respectful! Treat your soon-to-be-ex with dignity. You are the one inflicting the pain here, so make sure that you do it in the least hurtful way that you possibly can. If you need to let yourself be the 'bad one', just to save their ego, by all means do it. I'm sure you weren't perfect, anyway, right? When searching for how to break up you have to understand that rejection hurts, and that by ending the relationship you are rejecting her as a woman, or him as a man. How much damage do you think that will do to  their ego and self-esteem? Quite a lot, so try to soften the blow and treat your soon-to-be-ex with respect and dignity.

4) Make sure you are SURE you want to end the relationship! Don't burn your bridges and then decide you want to do a u-turn and go back. There are many ways to break up, but sometimes there aren't any ways to get them back after you ripped their world apart. Most of the time, once a relationship is over, it is over. Are there any questions to ask yourself before ending the relationship with your soon-to-be-ex? Yes, this is a big - and permanent step - so make sure you have resolved to the fact that the relationship is over before you learn how to break up.

5) Don't leave any loose ends. Before you even attempt to end the relationship make sure that you have all your belongings back, and that your soon-to-be-ex does, too. You do not want to leave the possibility of any reason for contact open.

6) Watch your timing! You do not want to destroy someone who is going through a difficult time in their own life, such as dealing with a family member's illness, cramming for a final exam, etc. Or break someone's heart when it is about time for them to celebrate their birthday, or it is just a few days away from Valentine's Day or Christmas. Don't be a jerk about your timing. It can wait a few more days or weeks, can't it? Be nice; that's how to break up with someone. Even if they are a jerk, themselves, you don't have to be.

7) State clearly that you are breaking up with your soon-to-be-ex. Don't hem and haw, don't beat around the bush, and don't hope that if you just 'taper' off from contact with your soon-to-be-ex that the relationship will dissolve on its own. As a matter of fact, the less you are in their life, the more they will feel attached to you by longing for you during your absence. That's one trick people use to get their ex to come back to them! This one is the least likely to be successful of all the ways to end relationships. Hoping you two can just drift apart will most likely backfire on you.

8) Don't point fingers. The relationship isn't working. You both suck. Period. One of the worse ways to break up with someone is to make a list to the person you are breaking up with of all their faults, flaws, or where they went wrong. This gives your soon-to-be-ex the impression that the relationship can be saved if they can just work on fixing those things about them that you don't like. There is no closure to be had on your soon-to-be-ex's part when they hold hope that they can get back together with you if they can only do 'this' differently or change 'that' about themselves. Seriously, if you really want to know how to break up with someone, this is how: WITH TACT.

9) Stop all contact. There is no need for late night booty calls. There is no need to hug your soon-to-be-ex and kiss them passionately good-bye. Just end the relationship and then stay out of their life. If you choose to remain friends, that's fine, but only do so after the feelings of grief or jealousy are over. Wait this period out before you come in contact with each other again. Don't make a point of being anywhere where you know your soon-to-be-ex may be, unless you can't avoid it, such as work or school. But you don't have to go to the same clubs, or parties, or restaurants as the person you just broke up with. That is just in bad taste. Let them have time to mend - without you in the picture.

10) If your ex contacts you, do not respond. Each time you respond you will only be encouraging them and that will result in prolonging their heartache, and delaying their breakup recovery time. Be firm, be direct.

11) And lastly, be prepared to doubt your decision to break up. Especially if your ex seems to take the breakup fairly casually, doesn't bother to try to talk you out of it, or never attempts to contact you or see you again. This is their way of projecting the rejection back onto you; and it is by the very fact of being 'rejected' by someone do we lose our ego. This loss of ego makes us feel like we want our ex back in our good graces, so we can again feel good about ourselves. That is why the best selling books are ones on 'how to win an ex back'...because people cannot stand rejection, and it is even especially harder if the person who is rejecting you is someone you look up to, admire, love and respect.

Remember those questions to ask before ending a relationship with your soon-to-be-ex, before you follow this advice on how to break up? I hope you asked yourself them! Can this relationship be saved before I breakup? Is there hope to salvage the damage of past wrongs? Is there outside sources that we might get help as a couple from? Can she/he change? Can I?

We have offered you free advice on how to break up. For more help please visit 'How to get Over a Break Up', 'How to Break Free From Their Spell' or 'How to Win an Ex Back and Get Back Together'.

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