Getting Over a
Over a Breakup
By Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru Tigress is on FaceBook! You can subscribe to Tigress' page at FaceBook's TigressLuv
Getting Over a Breakup
For the brokenhearted the world over, the BIG question
is: How in the heck am I supposed to find a way for getting over a breakup
that is tearing me apart inside?
The biggest mistake most
people make when getting over a breakup with their partner is to believe
that they somehow have to instantly, magically "fall out of love" with their
ex. That simply is just not so. Getting over a breakup is about accepting
the breakup, and accepting that things will be okay, and accepting the fact
that you do love your ex. You can feel the love for your ex in your heart,
you can allow the memories and good feelings to flow if you want...but just
remember while allowing your heart to feel the love to also use your brain
to receive feedback that it is over and will not work out.
Getting over a breakup
is never easy, but intentionally falling out of love is never possible at
all. Feel free to feel the love but accept the fact that it is over, too.
You can love him/her for the rest of eternity if you'd like. There is NO
reason to think you have to 'fall out of love' with him/her...however, when
getting over a breakup you do need to go through the grief of loss, the
withdrawal from that which has become an addiction if you'd like, and acknowledge
and accept that the relationship is over. This is the key to getting past
the grief to a point where our hearts are open and love can re-enter our
lives - to where we have gotten over the breakup and moved on.
Still, getting over a
breakup is about the hardest thing imaginable. I mean, after all, you can't
just will yourself to not miss your ex...you can't just 'will' your heart
to not love someone anymore than you can will your heart not to beat. It
just isn't possible! What is possible, however, is to 'allow' yourself
to fall out of love. If the relationship is over then stop fighting
it, and learn to accept it - learn how to 'allow' your heart to stop loving
To 'allow' your heart
to stop loving your ex is hard - it means admitting to ourselves that the
relationship is over, and that we will be okay - no matter what. To
allow your heart to fall out of love means to open it back up and 'allow'
others in. You can speed up this process by either getting rid of anything
that reminds you of your ex, or by packing it away - out of sight.
By clinging to the love you are not keeping the relationship alive
- like your mind has convincingly deceived you into believing - all you are
doing is keeping the grief alive.
Sometimes, in our efforts
to keep the relationship alive, we hold on to the grief and the memories,
for without them then our ex would be lost to us forever. We use the grief
as a way to still be connected to our exes. Getting over a breakup isn't
possible if you intentionally hang onto the grief and the memories in a feeble
attempt to keep the relationship alive.
Getting over a breakup
means getting new interests, changing something about yourself or your life
that you were dissatisfied with, finding new hobbies, joining clubs or groups
and making new friends. It means accepting that the relationship is over,
and allowing yourself to continue loving your ex. However, this is a time
of rebirth for you - a second chance at life - so go for it with all the
gusto that you possibly can!
For more information about getting over
the pain of breakup, please read more from Tigress in her
report How to Get Over a