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Getting Over a Breakup

Getting Over a Breakup
By Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru Tigress is on FaceBook! You can subscribe to Tigress' page at FaceBook's TigressLuv

Getting Over a Breakup

getting over breakupFor the brokenhearted the world over, the BIG question is: How in the heck am I supposed to find a way for getting over a breakup that is tearing me apart inside?

The biggest mistake most people make when getting over a breakup with their partner is to believe that they somehow have to instantly, magically "fall out of love" with their ex. That simply is just not so. Getting over a breakup is about accepting the breakup, and accepting that things will be okay, and accepting the fact that you do love your ex. You can feel the love for your ex in your heart, you can allow the memories and good feelings to flow if you want...but just remember while allowing your heart to feel the love to also use your brain to receive feedback that it is over and will not work out.

Getting over a breakup is never easy, but intentionally falling out of love is never possible at all. Feel free to feel the love but accept the fact that it is over, too. You can love him/her for the rest of eternity if you'd like. There is NO reason to think you have to 'fall out of love' with him/her...however, when getting over a breakup you do need to go through the grief of loss, the withdrawal from that which has become an addiction if you'd like, and acknowledge and accept that the relationship is over. This is the key to getting past the grief to a point where our hearts are open and love can re-enter our lives - to where we have gotten over the breakup and moved on. .

Still, getting over a breakup is about the hardest thing imaginable. I mean, after all, you can't just will yourself to not miss your ex...you can't just 'will' your heart to not love someone anymore than you can will your heart not to beat. It just isn't possible! What is possible, however, is to 'allow' yourself to fall out of love. If the relationship is over then stop fighting it, and learn to accept it - learn how to 'allow' your heart to stop loving your ex.

To 'allow' your heart to stop loving your ex is hard - it means admitting to ourselves that the relationship is over, and that we will be okay - no matter what. To allow your heart to fall out of love means to open it back up and 'allow' others in. You can speed up this process by either getting rid of anything that reminds you of your ex, or by packing it away - out of sight. By clinging to the love you are not keeping the relationship alive - like your mind has convincingly deceived you into believing - all you are doing is keeping the grief alive.

Sometimes, in our efforts to keep the relationship alive, we hold on to the grief and the memories, for without them then our ex would be lost to us forever. We use the grief as a way to still be connected to our exes. Getting over a breakup isn't possible if you intentionally hang onto the grief and the memories in a feeble attempt to keep the relationship alive.

Getting over a breakup means getting new interests, changing something about yourself or your life that you were dissatisfied with, finding new hobbies, joining clubs or groups and making new friends. It means accepting that the relationship is over, and allowing yourself to continue loving your ex. However, this is a time of rebirth for you - a second chance at life - so go for it with all the gusto that you possibly can!

~Tigress Luv

For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read more from Tigress in her report How to Get Over a Breakup.

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