A Dear John Letter You'll Never Forget!
you had just about enough fun as you can take with your
hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend? Does the way his shirts always seem to
catch a drop of mustard make you cringe instead of smile adoringly? Do you
find yourself thinking, "If only he weren't with me, I could
ladies, these are the universal signs that it is time to throw old lover
boy a curve ball and hope it wallops him a good one right in the knee. It
is time to get out, and get out fast and easy. Now, all you decent women
out there have probably always been taught that you should break up amicably
(we can be friends) and face-to-face, right? Well, that is the worst advice
ever. If you want to break up with class, you need to write it down. And
trust me, if you write this exact letter, your man will be gone and you will
be free to do whatever (whoever) you want:
Hello man of my dreams. I am sitting here all alone, and it is occurring
to me that I have a lot of feelings for you, and that those feelings too
often go unsaid. I don't know why it is, but it has always been easier for
me to say what I feel when I write it down. So, please, bear with me and
First, I want you to know how very hot I am for you. The way the corners
of your eyes crinkle when you smile at me makes me so crazy I can barely
contain myelf. I want to run my lips over those tiny crows feet and work
my way down from there - down, I mean really down (wink wink).
Next, I want you to know how much even my mother adores you. When you brag
on and on about her pot roast and then go in and do the dishes, too, man,
you have more than one woman exceedingly proud. You know a man is good when
even mom approves.
You know what else? My girlfriends are so green with envy that they can barely
even stand my company any more. God, I love it! They know that in comparison
to you, their men are dumpster dirt, and when I think about their perky blonde
heads shaking in exasperation every time I talk about you, I just get goose
Sweetie, I love you; no other man can compare. Come to me tonight and I will
show you just how much you mean to me.
(Then sign your name & put a little heart next to it)
it seems I forgot the most important thing. This letter
only works if your boyfriend's name IS NOT JOHN! If his name is John, you
must begin your letter Dear Bob, or Dear Jack, or Dear Ryan
but HIS ACTUAL NAME.
Get it? Trust me! It works like a charm!
And, there you have it..the perfect Dear John Letter!
some GREAT Breakup Letters here
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Free From Their Spell! - and stop that magical hold they
have over you...
- Longer Fuller
Article brought to you by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru