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Hello…John? A Dear John Letter You'll Never Forget! 

dear john letterHave you had just about enough fun as you can take with your hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend? Does the way his shirts always seem to catch a drop of mustard make you cringe instead of smile adoringly? Do you find yourself thinking, "If only he weren't with me, I could…?" Well, ladies, these are the universal signs that it is time to throw old lover boy a curve ball and hope it wallops him a good one right in the knee. It is time to get out, and get out fast and easy. Now, all you decent women out there have probably always been taught that you should break up amicably (we can be friends) and face-to-face, right? Well, that is the worst advice ever. If you want to break up with class, you need to write it down. And trust me, if you write this exact letter, your man will be gone and you will be free to do whatever (whoever) you want:

Dear John,

Hello man of my dreams. I am sitting here all alone, and it is occurring to me that I have a lot of feelings for you, and that those feelings too often go unsaid. I don't know why it is, but it has always been easier for me to say what I feel when I write it down. So, please, bear with me and read on.

First, I want you to know how very hot I am for you. The way the corners of your eyes crinkle when you smile at me makes me so crazy I can barely contain myelf. I want to run my lips over those tiny crows feet and work my way down from there - down, I mean really down (wink wink).

Next, I want you to know how much even my mother adores you. When you brag on and on about her pot roast and then go in and do the dishes, too, man, you have more than one woman exceedingly proud. You know a man is good when even mom approves.

You know what else? My girlfriends are so green with envy that they can barely even stand my company any more. God, I love it! They know that in comparison to you, their men are dumpster dirt, and when I think about their perky blonde heads shaking in exasperation every time I talk about you, I just get goose bumps.

Sweetie, I love you; no other man can compare. Come to me tonight and I will show you just how much you mean to me.


(Then sign your name & put a little heart next to it)

Oh…well…it seems I forgot the most important thing. This letter only works if your boyfriend's name IS NOT JOHN! If his name is John, you must begin your letter Dear Bob, or Dear Jack, or Dear Ryan…anything but HIS ACTUAL NAME.

Get it? Trust me! It works like a charm!

And, there you have it..the perfect Dear John Letter!

Read some GREAT Breakup Letters here

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Article brought to you by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru

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