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Dating Tips for the Tipless

dating tips

Do you have all the answers? Do you know what to do on a date? Maybe more importantly, do you know what not to do on a date? Let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, we have all had our share of dating blunders, but with a little research and planning, the days of the giant-foot-in-mouth disease can be over for good. If you want to make a great impression on that first or subsequent date, all you need to do is follow this simple advice and take into account these simple dating tips:

· Do you like him a lot? Roll down the window before you fart in the car.
· Not too into him? Same as above, only don't roll down the window.
· Think she's too hot to handle? Don't pour ice down her blouse.
· If you just have to pick your nose, go to the bathroom to do it - or at least turn your head
· Bored by the conversation but hot for her form, men? Just nod a lot. Trust me, women love that.
· Dating a guy who lives at home with his mother? Check yourself into the psych ward instead; that's where you belong.
· Men - appear casual. Women hate it when you bother to get dressed up before you pick them up.
· Men - women these days are liberated. Suggest you "go Dutch."
· Need to lose about twenty pounds ladies? Go for it. Show off your curves by wearing something really tight.
· Men? Need to lose a few, too? Same advice as above, only just be sure that the button on your shirt just above your waistline is actually missing.
· Women - show your feminist side. Open his door. Pull out his chair. Don't shave your pits.

There you have it. Dating is not as hard as everyone makes it seem. Oh, and don't bother with deodorant. It's just a waste of money, anyway.

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