Have you placed a slurry, alcohol-induced call,
email, or text to your ex at 2 a.m.? Did you feel weak and place a desperate
plea for reconciliation or an indignant, angry outburst, letting it all spill
If so, don't feel bad. Nearly
everyone with a broken heart has made this mistake.
So what can you do to undo this mistake?
Well, the best thing would have been to save your pride and not to have done
it to begin with. But, of, course, it's too late now so you must deal with
the pain of rejection afresh and anew, and then just get on with your
"I WANT TO CALL
MY EX AGAIN!!!"
"But I want to call her/him! I want
to hear her/his voice and try to reason with them and try to MAKE THEM SEE
THAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!"
If you absolutely, positively feel that
you MUST call your ex or you will explode then here is a method that will
help stop you from making that call to your ex...
....Make the call IN YOUR HEAD!!! That's
right. Think about everything you will say to them and think about how they
will answer you. I'm sure you know your ex well enough to know how they will
respond to a call from you.
Are you ready? Start dialing
.......rrriiiiinggggg......rriinnnggggg......You hear the phone being picked
up on the other end of the line...their familiar, but cold and perturbed
voice says, "hello?" or maybe "yeah?" (as my ex would do if
he saw the call originating from me),
Okay, now you say "Hi, it's me" and
then continue on...what will you say to your ex?
Now place his/her answer/statement here
Now how is your ex answering you? They're
probably not too comforting, right?
Think about all the painful, hurtful things
they will say...think about the validated rejection you will feel and
rewaken....think about it until your stomach starts to feel like it's made
of lead...think how they will answer you; the cold, condescending tone to
their voice, the total apathy in their words. Okay, now that you have imagined
this phone call actually taking place, and the answers your ex has given
you, AND THE OUTCOME OF THE CALL, how does it make you feel? Probably pretty
shitty, stupid, lacking in dignity, and feeling clingy and insecure, right?
DON'T MAKE THE CALL! Go for a walk instead, truly. Every time you want
to call your ex, or contact your ex...GO FOR A WALK! It helps, trust
Does that help?
And if you do call your ex, what do you
hope to accomplish? To hear his/her voice? To really find out how he/she
is doing? Or are you hoping that he/she wants to rekindle
Whatever your reasons, the end result
will be pain, unless you are in the 1% minority that can deal well with
contacting their ex.
And if you call and your ex snubs you
(which they most likely will), you will feel bad.
If you call and he/she tells you they
are dating another, you will feel bad. Or what if you call and someone of
the opposite sex answers their phone? You would be devastated!
I cannot see any positives to contacting
an ex who does not want to be in a relationship with you anymore. You are
asking for the wounds to be re-opened. We know that it is hard to be happy when
your whole world is turned upside down without them by your side. Most
likely if your ex initiated the breakup they are handling it far better
than you are. They know that they could probably win you back if they
wanted, and they are not dealing with the pain of rejection or of abandonment
as you may be. Add to this, they might naturally be in a 'pulling away' mode
- or an 'anti-you' state-of-mind - which takes some strategic actions on
your side to get them to come back around to wanting to be near you and not 'away' from you. This is discussed more at Stop Ending
Your choice, with all the ramifications
of your actions squarely on your shoulders. In my opinion? Grieve silently
regarding your ex. Miss them, and cry over them as much as you want to. But
don't call them. Give your ex back to themselves and focus on you. You are
only thinking of your ex because you are deflecting your thoughts away from
you, your life, your interests.
Our breakup support
community is a great place to post when you need the strength to NOT
MAKE THAT CALL!
'A call of insanity' - one woman's hysterically funny experience with calling
- The Aries
- The Cancer Ex-boyfriend
- The Leo
- The Taurus
- Your Gemini
Free From Their Spell! - and stop that magical hold they
have over you...
Article brought to you by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru