Breakup Proverbs for the Fridge
"Roses are Red,
Violets are Black,
Please, please, please,
Don't take me back!"
"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks
or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces
together, justifying what could've, would've happened ... or you
can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the
fuck on." ~Tupac
You know how all those weight-loss experts recommend putting pictures on
the refrigerator? You know, depending on whether your shrink and nutritionist
prefer positive reinforcement or negative reinforcement, they suggest either
a picture of a skinny person so you can envision yourself in that swimsuit
she is wearing or a fat person so you can say to yourself, "No way! Not me!"
Well, refrigerators are great for breakups too. Whenever you think you might
eat another gallon of chocolate ice cream in an effort to feel better or
put his underwear in the microwave so finally something inside those boxers
will be hot, you can always get yourself a little boost by remembering the
following fridge proverbs:
1) Lover's Lane and your ex's jeans should come with a sign that reads "Dead
2) Nature is just: It's the male seahorse that gives birth.
3) The Love Boat sails at 10:00: Push Her Off at 11:00.
4) As the rising sun can kiss the grass - you, boy, can kiss my ass.
5) If you are going to fall head over heels, buy stilettos. They make better
6) Cupid's bow is crooked!
7) Dinner out: $50; A cruise to the Bahamas: $600; Freedom: Priceless
8) Get a cat; if it strays, neuter it.
9) What did God say after creating Man? Good, but I can do better.
10) Buy waterproof mascara: unlike your boyfriend, it won't run when you get emotional.
11) Chocolate really is better than sex: you can hold it in your mouth and
it just gets better and better.
12) Girlfriends are two-sided coins: Nag & Silent Treatment
13) Cheer up, girl - there are at least 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, and
14) Buy a candy bar instead. You don't have to pretend to swallow it.
15) Your ex's idea of foreplay: a drunken swing on the 4th hole
Love is a river. It seems refreshing on summer days, wild when you are seeking
excitement, and peaceful when life is too hectic, but trust me honey, at
the end there is always a big mouth that tends to overflow if you don't damn
For further insight into
your ex's mind please read this report on how to stop a breakup or this report on how to
get over a breakup. If you need help with handling the rejection
or abandonment please join our breakup support community - the largest on the
Free From Their Spell! - and stop that magical hold they
have over you...
Article brought to you by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru