Breaking up with Style:
Breakup Etiquette for Rednecks
Breaking up may be hard to do, but all
you rednecks out there, take note. You, too, can break up with style. When
the bloodhound smells better than he does, take these tips on how to get
him to go:
When he wants to make love, refuse to move the baby seat.
Make him wear shoes to your mama's house.
When he goes to the store for a can of dip, make him bring back Tampax.
Kick his tires.
Kick his dog.
Hire a skywriter to write, "Billy Bob buys his underwear at Calvin Klein
Insist on spending Super Bowl Sunday at the opera
Tell him, "This relationship is the only thing duct tape can't fix."
Go to the corner diner and announce to everyone, "It just ain't true what
you can't tell nuthin' by the size of his tires."
Okay, all you big beefy redneck men out there. You can't get left out of
the loop. Tired of your redneck babe? Here is how to get her to go:
Spray paint over her name on the water tower so now it reads Bob & ^%^^$^%*^
When your wife is going in for Tampax, make her get you a can of dip.
Buy her livestock for Valentine's Day.
Refuse to take her to NASCAR with you.
When she comes in the living room naked, tell her to get out of the way of
Tell her that her flannel shirt is too big for you, you really need to find
"I'm sorry, honey, but kissing cousins is just an expression."
Say loud enough for her to overhear, "She said it was me or the truck; I'm
sure gonna miss her."
"You found out I'm a pedophile, so you want me to leave? Now, sweetie, that's
an awful big word for a thirteen year old."
"I gotta get outta this here mess before I have to get a little blood on
Rich or poor, old or young, smart or dumb, we all have to go through the
breakups, so you might as well enjoy yourself a little while you do it. Here's
to the redneck in all of us!
(Speaking of rednecks - here's
a picture of a redneck tube top that
was emailed to us - look CLOSELY!)
For further insight into
your ex's mind please read this report on how to stop a breakup and how to get your ex back or this report on how to
get over a breakup. If you need help with handling the rejection
or abandonment please join our breakup support community - the largest on the web!
Article brought to you by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru